So I'm here, reporting exclusively for peanuts_hat about the wedding of Peanut's Hat and Teh Borrell's Hat. The guests have been pouring in. Here already are newlyweds Jarvis Cocker's Sunglasses [who will be Best Man] and Carl Barat's numerous scarves, Ring Bearer Billy Elliot's tutu, Ushers Various NME's, Charlotte of the Subways' miniskirt, Afro-couple Simon Rix's hair and Simon Amstell's hair, Alex Zane's girly jacket, Pete Doherty's ripped jeans, Dominic Monaghan's hobbit feet, Doctor Who's TARDIS, and of course, ex-boyfriend of Peanut's Hat, Brandon's Jacket with new boyfriend Graham Coxon's Emo Glasses. Brandon said to me upon arrival "Yeah, I was a bit upset at first, but Peanut's Hat's happy, and that's all that matters. Plus, my new fella's lovely."
Pete and Carl's guard jackets have arrived, and have been banned from the confessional box, after their antics at Jarvis's glasses and Carl's scarves wedding.
Carl's scarves popped along for a chat. He said "Yeah, Jarvis's glasses and I have been trying for a while now. Financially, it's a good time for a baby, and I'm really excited."
Peanut's Hat's arrived! Looking rather spiffy too! He's having a last minute chat with Jarvis's glasses and Billy Elliot's tutu while we wait for Teh Borrell's hat and bridesmaids.
Teh Borrell's hat is outside The British Church Of Morrissey right now with bridesmaids Ricky Wilson's flatcap, Whitey's sulk and Alex Kapranos' Fringe. I can't wait! Wedding of the year is nearly underway!
The wedding's begun! Presided over by Morrissey himself, we begin the ceremony with There Is A Light That Never Goes Out, and we're currently listening to Jarvis's glasses doing a reading.
You're probably thinking what happened. Bursting through the doors came none other than ANDREW KENDALL'S GLASSES! Apparantly, he and Teh Borrell's hat have been having an affair for months! [quick! someone alert sleepingwithnme!] Peanut's Hat and Teh Borrell's Hat had a quiet chat outside.